i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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