Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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