your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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