So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
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when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
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Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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