Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
