omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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