we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
