the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize