Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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