Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
