she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
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its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
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These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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