Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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