Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
