did you get engaged???
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
