He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Randomize
