watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize