your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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