I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize