It's Friday. Sex?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.