Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
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My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
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And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE