She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?