pedialite and red bull = repair kit
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.