this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize
