I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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