if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize