I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
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Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
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She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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