Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
