I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
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It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
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Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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