thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
