i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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