party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
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he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
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Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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