How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
