somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
