When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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