don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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