I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize