Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize