We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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