awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
