i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
