so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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