I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he fucked my hip out of place.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My ass is underappreciated
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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