i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
