sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived