Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
