I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
