duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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