Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
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Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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