so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
