lets start a swedish sibling band together
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
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The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.