You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked