my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
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Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
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I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.