There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
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How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
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after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.