All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..