Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen