There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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