giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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