she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize