the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
